Talk:Jin Kitsune/@comment-4666155-20140429055903

....Okay, skipping all formalties; for a hostess, today I am very busy. This article needs work. But, because I cannot just say that and go have a strong cup of coffee, let me detail everything. Intro paragraph: it's alright. I will be saying this a lot, and it applies to the article as a whole; the grammar is an issue here. You need to apply proper spacings and you are either missing a word or two. In addition, there are a few spelling errors; this all applies to the article at large. Use a Spellchecker, find a grammar checker; I can only assume your first language wasn't English.

His "Natural Abilities" need a rehauling entirely. You. Need. Detail. One small sentence is nowhere near enough for the power level you're trying to set this man as; I'd expect a paragraph at the MINIMUM detailing what he can do. Additionally, nothing that isn't in parenthesis needs to be in italics. Japanese requires KANJI in parenthesis, and italics, next to the names of magics, skills, and items. If you think you've got a decent grasp of Japanese, go use Nihongodict to get the proper kanji and terms. If you don't think you can do it, we don't offer lessons, so you will have to use English or another foreign language you have a decent grasp on, and use this website instead.

To Dar​kness: "To Darkness" is a spell that focuses on Jin's breath, if Jin breathes off much, spell goes faster than anything in the word.

No. None of this "faster than anything in the world". I have a gripe like that with a friend of mine, just....no. We're having none of that. Being fast is fine, but you will apply limits. The spell itself isn't bad, I've seen worse, but, "inescapable" should be revised; everything has a weakness. The same applies to your nullification spell; it cannot nullify "anything", apply a weakness.All in all, his ENTIRE DARKNESS MAGIC SECTION needs a revamping. You're so busy being "stronger than everything" (which you are not, with the detail here, the most basic article could go mano y mano with your guy and come out the winner), you forgot to put any detail into this; there's no creativity, no imagination; this can all be improved if you actually try. All I see in this article is "I want to be the best"; I don't see an article someone put their time and effort into. You need to fix this entire thing.