User blog:Firegod00/In Which There Is No God (Fairy Tail 421: Wendy and Chellia)

Hello again my little sheeplings. As you can tell, it’s FRBAWL time again. For those of you just tuning in for the first time, FRBAWL is the name of my reivews, and it stands for Fire Reviews Because Aha Was Lazy and is pronounced the same as furball.

Welcome to the third week straight where I’m your host in the weekly review. Hope you aren’t getting sick of me quite yet. If you are, please remember, that’s all up to you. For those willing to stick with me until the end, I really love you, my precious little sheeplings.

-Clears throat- Sorry about that boys, girls and those who don’t identify as either. I’m normally cruel and cold during the FRBAWL, but this week, I wanted to tell you, my dear readers, how much you actually mean to me. After all, how many more of these little rants will I be putting forth? Might as well say it now. But enough of the nice guy thing. You and I both know I’d be lying if I said there would be no fury this chapter. So, let’s go...to the edge of darkness.

HEAVEN OR HELL! LET'S ROCK!
My god, if thou truly art in heaven, then giveth me the strength to not strangle Hiro should I ever meet him in real life. You’ll soon see why I say this, and I know exactly what I’m doing, so there will be no forgiveness. So, the chapter cover is of the titular yuri pairing holding hands and looking cute. Nothing more classy could have conveyed the reason I’m here, reading this tripe for the third time today, except them. Rule 34 artists don’t seem to have latched to the chapter quite yet, surprisingly... ANYWAY...moving on kids. Chapter proper begins with Wendy embarrassed over the end of last chapter, which is the scene that prevented me from dropping the series like it was scalding. She’s cute enough that I’m willing to endure this shit, ‘nuff said folks. The opening page is marred only by the dog-faced dumbass and what looks like Bushy Brows wearing Law’s hat. Subtle copyright is subtle.

And now, for the darkness of this chapter, the thing that feeds my fury...the reason I’m so cruel in these reviews. Lucy, the baboon and the cat show up. I’m so pissed over the pink-haired dunderhead’s bullshit this week, it’s unreal. I’d rather re-read the last 20 chapters of FONDLE (first person to get that reference wins the weekly cookie) sober again than continue to believe in any way, shape or form, we can expect Natsu to have a single working, functional brain cell in his entire head. His actions are so appalling, I actually think the hyperactive orange ninja wannabe is a better character. And THAT is pathetic. Everyone knows the hate I have for the Foxy Orange Ninja.

What does the moron do that so infuriates me this week? He flat out tries to just take Wendy, not even considering HER feelings on the matter, or telling her what’s going on until AFTER THE FUCKING FACT! I don’t care what reasons he may have (oh wait, it’s Natsu, he’s not smart enough to have reasons) but by GOD, Natsu’s selfish attitude towards his former guildmates is going to drive me to the brink of madness. He’s so obsessed with having shit his way that he gives zero fucks about anyone else’s feelings, opinions or desires. It’s all gotta be his way, like the world is his personal fucking Burger King.

Lyon explains that Makarov got in trouble with the council over some things, namely being the head of a guild and a member of the council at the same time. Oh, yeah, that brings up the point of what the fuck IS the council any more? Turns out, the Ten Saints are the new head honchos. And to hammer home how STUPID Natsu is, AGAIN, he seems to have forgotten that he already knew the Ten Saints are the strongest fuckers around. Oh for Bael’s sakes, if the protagonist is forgetting shit only two hundred chapters after learning it, can I be allowed for forget this arc, and the one before it for good measure? I’m sorry, but when it was shown in-story that a character at least HEARD of something before, it’s poor form to write them forgetting it.

Now for my absolute favorite moment in the chapter, and Aha will hate me for this. Wendy told Natsu she’s not leaving her new guild to rejoin the Fairy Turd brigade. Of course, this being baby’s first shounen (Hana’s term for it, one I’m starting to endorse), I’ll bet within the next two full chapters (422-423, for those who are as fond of technicalities as myself), she’s have a change of heart. I pray not, because honestly, it’s good to see the little lady standing up for herself and proving she wants to make her own choices. Besides, Natsu’s face is fucking priceless. Stupid fucker acts like he has a RIGHT to be angry over this, despite it never being his right to just waltz in a all but demand the Sky Dragon Slayer leave her new home because he asked her too. I don’t care that they’re former guildmates. Nothing gave Natsu the right to act the way he did about it, slamming his hand onto the table and DEMANDING an answer. Thank fucking Bael that Carla is still alive, because she’s the only real sane person right now. She supports Wendy, thank Bael-sama. (Yes, I know, I basically said Lord Lord, shut up) I’d like to take a break from the trival bullshit that is Natsu in this chapter and go back to the very end of last arc. He left, not giving a DAMN about anyone else. What the fuck gives him the right to force everyone back together just because he wants it? What gives him the right to force Lucy to run away from her job, her home just because it’s what HE wants her to do? Now, he’s trying to pull the same shit with Wendy. He’s the kind of person I hate the most. I don’t feel like getting too personal here, but this kind of shit is why I loathe this series. Natsu’s given free reign in the series and we’re told to accept it because he’s the main character. We’re forced to accept that this series is centered around the most insufferable, pathetic, infuriating, sad, miserable excuse of a character. I don’t claim to be a good writer myself, but at least my characters seem more human, more lifelike and certainly not even remotely as bad as Natsu. Oh wait, that’s because my cast actually has suffered losses in their personal lives and in battle and have watched their worlds burn, they have been broken time and again, not just when I realize I haven’t killed anyone from one side or the other. So, do I believe myself better than Hiro? Yes. I don’t care if you think that my words are true, because I believe them to be, and for anyone who knows me, this is the first and last compliment I will pay to myself. Don’t get used to it. We cut then to a hotel where Natsu pranks Lucy and gets smacked. And then....-sigh- I’m not even gonna review the rest of the scene, I’ve already covered it. Natsu wants to kidnap Wendy and force her to rejoin Fairy Turd. That’s it...No detail, no utterances of “fuck” out of me, nothing. Moving on.

We cut then to Wendy and Chellia’s place, where they’re discussing the day’s event. Turns out, Sherry is getting married. Aww, how nice. Chellia thinks Wendy’s just staying out of pity and tells her not to.

Boom. Explosions. Loud Noise. That’s right lads and laddies, shit just got real. FINALLY, some action...holy shit, the LS guild building just got blown the fuckity upity. Shit is so real, Lyon emotes. Yup, he expresses his feelings, so you know it’s on now.

Lucy, the monkey and the feline show up to help, and a creature breaks through the walls, only for Lyon to freeze it without even batting an eye. Like a baws.



Talk about the cold shoulder.

So, the ugly Orochimaru rip off from last week is actually named Orochi, and he had the bright idea to attack while LS has their strongest member away and their guards down. Actually smart, for an FT baddie.

Orochi gives the order for the attack to begin in full as his army of 100K goons march on the city, Chellia steals Natsu’s glory by flying with Happy while Wendy is held by Carla...Yep, a perfect end to an otherwise not so good chapter. As you can tell, there’s not a lot that matters beyond those details.

Well....Time for us to part again my friends. As always, thank you to those who enjoy the reviews, and to my haters, well, I’m not gonna change for you to like me. So long as the FRBAWL is needed, then by god, I shall do them on my terms and nobody else’s.

Farewell, my little sheeplings. And remember, I do love you.

Firegod00, signing off.