A Journey Through My Broken Past

{Nova's POV}

I notice the small quiver in my hands as I stand apart from Tojima and Layla.

Breathe. I think. I asked them to do this. It's time I confront my fears.

"Okay," I call out, "I'm ready."

I sit down and close my eyes. Seconds later it gets even darker and I know Tojima has started. Breathe. When I reopen my eyes I see the raging flames of my parents home.Their screams resound in my ears, mingling with my own. No! I need to stay in control. I run after a my past self. By the time I catch up my sister is once again dying. I see the dark aura radiating of my six year old body. Smaller me screams but I catch her before she can go after them.

"Shhhhh." I whisper. Hugging her as I stroke her hair. Tears stream down her face.

"Momma. Daddy. Brother and Sissy... they're all-"

"I know. But they loved you with all their hearts." I say. And that's all it takes. I realize that what I needed then was a friend, someone to give me a hug and show some love. I close my eyes again. I reopen them to see the monster who fed my own demons. Crowley looks me over and my hands instantly fly to my scar.

"Hello, my gem. I told you that you belonged to me." he says. I can feel a new weight on my finger... my left ring finger to be exact. My knees give out. The scent of blood fills the air. Bodies. Bodies everywhere, belonging to those I killed in my dark guild days. Crowley's cold fingers caress my neck where the Shattered Dusk guild tattoo sits."Don't you remember them, love? Remember the feeling of triumph as you slide your blades through their hearts? Their necks? Remember the blood that stained you? And don't you remember the power you felt watching the life drain from their eyes, knowing you were the cause?"

Crowley now wraps his hand around my neck. I hang limp as he lifts me from the ground. His other hand rests on my side and slowly drifts upward as he recites my crimes. I did this. I know all the names of my victims. When I joined Koma Inu I made sure I would never forget what I did but I would still walk towards making a better path, It's my turn to wrap my fingers around Crowley's wrist. I squeeze and it snaps. He screeches and releases me.

"Of course I remember them. And I remember every sick thing you did to me or made me do you piece of crap." I requip my Heaven Sent armor on. " Repent."

I send my sword through Crowley's stomach, twisting as I go. If he were real he would be experiencing extreme pain and be forced to relive his worst memories. But he's not and too soon his illusion disappears. My eyes close again.

The darkness fades and I once again open my eyes to see Tojima and Layla across from me. When I stand up I feel ice shoot through my veins. She's there before I can control it. Both illusion mages go down instantly. Hard to fight against twin swords you weren't expecting. I must have weakened my magic somehow because she's not an illusion. While I've been lost in thought she has tracked down Niwatori, Shifuku, and Umi. Everyone in the guild falls either to the twin blades or Dark Vision. I try to fight against Super Nova but I can't. It breaks me to watch my team mates attempt to fight but get run through anyway. Lady Inari is the only one who remains standing. This is the thing I've been trying to prevent! This is... this is my biggest fear. I lock Super Nova inside my head, choking her down until I can break free. This time when I open my eyes to see Layla and Tojima I know it's real. And I know I'm in control. I wouldn't let her hurt anyone in the guild... They're simply too precious to me. They are-

"My family." I whisper.