Talk:Theia Tasya/@comment-30807545-20151225213558

Hello, hello~! This is your friendly DSR reviewer, Alphy!

Anyways, the reason why I'm here to to do a total review of your character in hopes that you can improve them later on. I've gotten permission to do this by my partners-in-crime & two of the admins; also, this was on request, so..... Don't worry though, I'll make this as brief as possible as to not waste any of our time!

So without further ado, lets begin~

1. Grammar: It's not much to complain about really; it's excellent so-far. The only thing is your translation of the word "Light Dragon"; it should be (光竜, Kōryu). The translation you had was for "Sun Dragon". Beyond that small bit, everything else is dandy :P

2. Formatting: Though it's slight, it's the main problem here.... sorta. With the kanji translations, don't put it in bold; the name of the attack is in bold. The Romanji should be in italics. If you bold everything it tends to be an eyesore. As I said before, your DS-related abilities should be sectioned under each other; they shouldn't counted as separated magics. They're abilities under DS magic, thus be treated as such. One thing I should point out is the intro for your Dragon Slayer Magic description; it's a continuation with many sentence fragments, especially in the beginning. It's the same with your other magic descriptions from what I'm seeing. I will provide links at the bottom of this review of how it should be; it's better to lead by example, much easier on my part. With your equipment, each tool should have bullet points instead of separate sections.

3. Powers & Abilities: Not really much of a problem here; I see you're being creative in the way you go about it, nice :P It's not overpowered and within Theia's range of an S-Class Dragon Slayer. Not only that, she has an additional magic just in case things go awry, an excellent idea. Anyways, this is something I have no troubles with; nothing in particular stands out.

Overall, this character is excellent. Besides the things that I've mentioned above (if barely anything relevant), this character is excellent by-far, better than what most new users can churn out and call a Dragon Slayer, myself included. I don't see why you're worrying so much over it; you did the best you've could with Theia. As I said, I don't have anything immediate I can tell you about DSs, but I would look at characters such as Wendy Marvell (LastationLover5000) and Razia Sultana for examples of how Dragon Slayer articles should really look like overall; don't worry, it's not much different. Also, during your battle with Razraz, it was pretty even - which is a give, due to HB having tons more experience than you. So yeah, you did well for your first time.

Anyways, I've said all that I could. Welp, that's it for me. I'm outties~