Talk:Chapter 14 - Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing/@comment-21119641-20180130031903/@comment-6028353-20180130041035

Lol yes, I love writing for sarcastic characters. Peltin’s going to be the straight man for… Probably the duration of my story. Jaina as well. They’ve got more in common then just wearing an eyepatch.

I figure a good talking chapter is due after the more actiony bits. I’ll probably but that liking to the test in the coming chapters though. You might be screaming for someone to punch something later. Amber, personality wise, I’ve got completely hammered out. I keep imagining her going through that weirdly uncomfortable period of being the new kid in class, with the exception being that unless she has to fight it or run from it, she really won’t know what to do with herself.

The council and the guild are going to be parallels throughout the story, for one reason or another. And it’s a pretty heavy tone, s I like to break that up with a bit of witty banter. All serious, all the time stories can get bland very fast, I’ve found. Plus, people make jokes, point out each other’s flaws, it’s a natural thing that makes us who we are. As for Payla grabbing her arm… Payla’s old, Amber’s young and spry. If she wanted too, Amber probably could have just yanked her arm away if she really felt threatened. I needed something to stop that, otherwise I felt the scene wouldn’t feel as tense as it did.

Grammar bits, I’ll take on the chin. Hopefully I’ll have gotten better in later chapters. I do notice that flaw you pointed out though, about stating who is talking before anything is said. I’m not sure why I do it this way, but I’m trying to steer away from just going, “Amber says, Shelly says, Axel says.” At the beginning of each new line. It just seems off to me, so I was trying to find a workaround.

Anyways, YES 10/10. Hopefully I can keep tat going. Thanks for reading dude.