Talk:Kestrel Rose/@comment-25324585-20140726170957

Nice one, Muffin-chan. This is pretty good so far. And now for the review.

(cue drum roll)

I'm pretty sucky at reviews, so this might be quick.

The introduction paragraph is good, however some people may prefer a slight background story. But don't make it a long ass report about her entire history, cause there's a history section for a reason. Also, for the romaji, you still want to capitalize the first letters in the names, because names are still proper nouns, and proper nouns are capitalized. This is pretty much optional, but I still like to do it, because in my opinion, it looks sloppy if it ain't capitalized. If ya want, you can also write the romaji and kanji the way the Japanese do it. In Japan, there is a custom to put your last name in front of your first name. So the romaji and kanji would be : ローズケストレル Rōzu Kesutoreru. For your future characters, if the name you use doesn't show up on Google Translate or something, use this site for the katakana version.

Your appearance section is well written, bravo. But I am slightly confused about this line: " She had started cutting her to a more maintanable size." Do you mean her hair? Or am I being an idiot and missing something? It's probably the latter. I like how you can incorporate some of her interests and likings into her appearance section, so the readers can know a bit more about her. Overall, your appearance section is pretty good.

The personality section is also well written. I'd like to see some of her interests and dislikes, maybe some pet peeves that she has. Throughout the article, we can see that Kestrel obviously had a mediocre childhood. Yet she still wants to smile and be happy. I also like that you made a paragon of hope; her mother. The personality is well written. Nice job.

Magic and abilities. This is the most important part of a character, as it is where one can really bring out their creativity and writing skills. If you really want the character to be good in this section, you should have at least a paragraph to describe the magic and spells the character uses. Her instrument magic is apparently her main form of magic, so I expected a medium-sized paragraph describing how it worked, and how skilled she was at it. The spells themselves are pretty creative, so I can't hold you down there. There is this format a lot of users use here for the magic and abilities section, and if you want, you can use it:

Spells
Overall, this is a well written article with a few spelling mistakes and all. Keep up the good work~