User blog:Firegod00/Double the Hate, Double the Fun (FT 429 & 430)

My little sheeplings, meet where your name comes from

This chapter is a double feature, and as such I might as well double the review. Hope you’ll stick with me long enough to suffer the hell as you have done so loyally before.

For those of you new to the fun, I’m Fire and this is my review, the FRBAWL (Fire Reviews Because Aha Was Lazy, to be read as FURBALL). Everything below the heading I place below is rage, bile, venom, and a general disregard for the fans of this series. I hate bullshit writing, and I have no qualms pointing it out when I see it. If you love Fairy Tail, then for Bael’s sakes, find a different website to read reviews on. I don’t care if you hate my reviews, because I will write what I feel, good or ill. If you enjoy it, then I hope you’ll stick around.

HEAVEN OR HELL! LET'S ROCK!
Okay, let’s start with the color page opening. The text asks why Sasu-Gray was allowed to remove his guild mark. Fucking morons never heard of free will? He turned his back on the Turds, as he is allowed to do exactly that. He’s a free man, allowed to make his own choices in this world. Oh wait, if you oppose Fairy Twats, you’re stupid and don’t GET a choice. Sorry, forgot what series I’m reading.

The cat asks the fanservice if she’s feeling better and where her sexy maid went. The Magical Sealing Cuffs apparently negate her keys, returning the spirit to the Celestial World...but keep her in the maid outfit...Rule of Sexy I guess...

Then the monk dude walks by, bows for no damn reason (if anyone here has a damn clue, leave a comment, please) and announces the Avatar plan. No, it’s not to sit in a iceberg for a century, but to attract Zeref with the “smell of death”. Trust me folks, death don’t smell like roses, but more like shit and piss. Not very attractive. That’s the Mangapanda translation, while the Mangastream reads that millions of deaths will bring Zeref to them.

Lucy calls it bullshit that they’ve drug Sasu-Gray into their plot, and without batting an eye, the monk (fuck it, calling him Monk Key from now on) doesn’t give a damn and starts talking about the kanji on his head, saying he got the tattoo in the East and that it reads Zeref, to which Lucy says it doesn’t. A bit of humor in this chapter, not even funny humor, but Hiro gets a B for effort here.

Monk Key gets a bit pissed and forces Lucy’s hands over her head and binds them with a magic chain and hook. Pink-haired Baboon Boy and Blue-Pain-in-the-Ass start getting upset and for their outburst are thrown against the wall by their bindings. NICE. Glad to see somebody might just kick Natsu-to’s ass. Monk Key starts listing off tortures that eventually delve into fetishistic ones and gets called a perv for it, only to bow again to thin air (seriously, the fuck). Natsu tells Lucy to go for the foot licking one, and Monk Key explains that he douses the feet of his victim in salt water and siccs a goat on them, and a goat’s tongue is rather dry, so it splits the skin, which releases blood, which is salty, thus perpetuating the cycle (along with the fact salt on open wounds stings like a bitch, so it’s gonna hurt), He proceeds to take one of Lucy’s stocking’s off and trap her in a stockade, basically. He demands to know why Natsu and Tits Mcgee are there, for the billionth time it seems, only for Natsu stating again that Gray is why.

Cue Natsu’s bullshit Nakama speech of the chapter, saying that if Gray doesn’t believe in himself, then he’ll just belive for him, which is total BS. The only person allowed to belive in you when you don’t believe in yourself is Kamina. In all seriousness though. what is with shounen series and not having free will when your free will opposes the protagonist’s idea of what you should be? Seriously, Naruto had a Jesus complex, and now it seems Natsu is getting it just as bad, if not worse.

Monk Key changes tactics and decided to skip right to cutting Lucy in half, only for Gray to freeze the fucker solid in what appears to be utter betrayal of his plan. AMAZING. He just saved END and Lucy, without ever knowing his target was in the room. Also, called that shit. Hiro can’t leave a Turd in another guild for more than five chapters. He makes a call and who else but Ezra, the queen bitch of the most OP characters answers. Gray was a mole for her, it seems. Turns out Gray was only faking his Sasuke mode, as the mark recedes all the while.

Dear God, I pray 430 isn’t even nearly as bullshit as this.

Oh wait, it is. Turns out Gray’s able to control the mark entirely. That and Gray didn’t tell Juvia because Ezra forbade it. Understandable, but the water woman has literally been drowning a town all the while, because her heart was broken BECAUSE of this plan. If Jellel’s so worried about these guys, he could have dealt with them himself and we all know it. Oh, wait, there’s a reason for him NOT nuking them from orbit. Turns out what we think is Avatar is but one fragment of the full thing. Ooh, the plot thickens. And judging by Ezra’s armor, there is a lot of plot. Giggity.

So, operation Purification is literally just killing as many people in one town as possible in the hope Zeref rears his bishie mug.

We cut to the cult in question, about to do just that, except guess who’s in their way? That’s right, the morons, who wipe out a few, while Ezra rides behind, taking out even more, single handedly. Some of the named cult members think it’s a whole squad on their asses, but nope, just the most OP bitch to be OP. I’d make a snide comparison of a certain fanmade character, but if you saw me on chat, you’d know who it is, so why invite disaster by naming the person?

And the chapter ends there, thank God. That wraps up the FRBAWL double feature. Thanks for reading, my little sheeplings. Hope you enjoyed this one!

Until next time boys, girls and those you don’t identify as either. I love you all, my dear little sheeplings!

Firegod00, signing out.