Thread:JackWerewolf-13/@comment-26595384-20160131061233

Hey there Jack,  so I was taking a look at your character pages and just wanted to point out some things I noticed. With Aria things seem pretty good. The only thing I noticed was that you said she was previous with Sabertooth, but in her alias it said she was called that by Gray. So maybe change that to Sting or Rouge so it fits with the Sabertooth side of the story? Just something small, I know.

Jack was a different story...So I will say that you mention that your character is 14. Pretty young for a mage, probably only started using magic for 4-6 years now (using Romeo from FT as my basis), yet it seems he has spent time in Tartaros, His Kingdom, and Fairy Tail as a mage. Pretty busy for a kid... It seems a little overpowered to say that he was from Tartaros, consider that he is a kidand somehow got into a guild of demons from the Book of Zeref. So you may want to edit his backstory a bit.

Also his beast form being twice the size of Deliora is impossible. Deliora stands probably around 70 feet tall, based of his comparison to Natsu in the anime. Now you beast would stand 140 ft tall, which is like a 13 story building...pretty much impossible for a takeover at such a young age. I would keep it a reasonable 9-10 ft tall, especially since Jack is only 5'11".

I apologize if I come off as rude. I think your characters are coming along great, I just wanted to point out some logical mishaps that I noticed. I look forward to seeing how you develop their dragon slayer magics, the spells you used in the battle had pretty clever names. 