User blog:LastationLover5000/Fairy Tail 278 & 279 - DUAL FEATURE

Chapter 278
"You were called...Elfman...huh...you know...you...are a man!!"

- Bacchus to Elfman as he falls



We start off this little chapter with a problem..

Someone is kidnapping my Wendy! That's my job! I mean...uh...-static-

Natsu is rightfully pissed and charges these guys, friggin' punching one in the face, destroying his guns at the same time. Since Natsu is fast as hell, they decide the best choice is to leave two of the captives behind (oh yeah, Charle and Grandeeney were kidnapped, but I don't care), and since they requested the girl in the sickbay, it's best to just dump the other two. WHY TAKE THEM? Anyway, Natsu proceeds to own these bastards off screen.

Anyway, the fight between Bacchus and Elfman is (as expected), one sided and Elfman is getting pummeled. Elfman, despite his best efforts, cannot connect a hit to Bacchus at all, even when he tries to look like some thing out of Jungle Book. Erza decides to go all Ms. Exposition on us and explain Bacchus' magic as he looks like this:

'''Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart!!'''

And he's apparently using the Drunken Fist in combination with that long-winded explanation...without drinking anything. Rock Lee, meet thy maker. Despite getting his ass handed to him (go re-read this part, I'll wait...done? Good.), Elfman still has a "witty" comeback of sorts, that Bacchus' guild, whatever the hell that is, will have to be called "Quatro Puppy" if Elfman wins. I think he hit his head... Then Bacchus decides to go ahead and drink some sake. This just makes him stronger and he lands seven punches in an instant...that Erza can see, sans Sharingan. However, Elfman reveals this as Bacchus sees his hands bleeding:

It's like Godzilla, only instead of Tokyo, his target is a drunk.

Elfman challenges Bacchus to a no holds barred beatdown (weren't we already doing that?), which Baccus gladly accepts, being the nutcase he is. After a few panels of white, some of insane faces, and the announcer, Bacchus actually falls. Well Hiro, you threw the underdog a bone. Congratulations.

Anyway, cut to Natsu, Wendy and...the baggage (awww, Wendy's so cute!), it seems that Raven Tail would be behind this...but no, it's Ussop. Oh yeah, because no one in the cast will see through that

And apparently, he's been reading Naruto. The Eclipse Plan? Really Hiro? Anyway, let's segway right on into...

Chapter 279
"Sorry! I look forward to seeing you in your birthday suit!"

- Mira

"For the sake of his king, for the sake of his country, a man can become a demon or a god. Before the Eclipse, the gateway to changing the world, the price of a single girl's life is indeed quite cheap."

- Arcadios



Alright! This was an...interesting chapter to say the least O////O Firstly, Elfman is beaten up terribly. BUT WHO CARES, WENDY IS BACK ON THE TEAM! UP YOURS...who was it that said she shouldn't be in the games? Zico? Zairakou? UP YOURS WHICHEVER ONE IT WAS! Anyway, Laxus' personal lapdogs, more baggage, decide they will stand guard over the hospital wing. Evergreen and Elfman share a cute moment (EvergreenxElfman, confirmed). Like I said earlier, Fairy Tail is totally seeing through the "Raven Tail did it" bullshit Ussop (I know he has a name, I am calling his Ussop), tried to pull over their heads. Charle spends time dwelling on her "dream". Denial if there ever was any. I do wonder why Lucy was personally targeted.

Up next is Mirajane vs Jenny, Fairy Tail vs Blue Pegasus. I honestly cannot say I knew what Hiro was thinking when he planned this match, but, instead of talking, I'mma just show you:

There are times to be subtle and there are times when you just don't care. Hiro just didn't care.

Did you expect me to pick just one? If any of your answered yes, you do not win at life. Anyway, Jenny decides to make it so they go with the flow of the matches previous and make a bet, the bet in question being the loser appears nude in the Weekly Sorcerer. Hiro...draw that. You will draw that or so help me Noire...Anyway, Mira decides to turn these words back on Jenny as she assumes her battle form, saying, if they go along with the flow of the last battle and make a wager, they best settle it with brute strength...and, well, I mean, people, this is Mira. You know, I won't even describe it. I'll let this next part be a surprise.

Tsūga!!!

Yeah. Totally. Please note Gajeel, Laxus, and JELLAL' are now scared of Mira. Anyway, cut to Ussop and the Minister for Defence. Apparently, Ussop's plans to kidnap Lucy are going into action too soon. Ussop's opinion? Give a friggin' speech that ammounts to "hell to the friggin' no!". If it's just one girl, what does her life measure to changing the world?

And of course, no dramatic speech would be complete without an ominous mechanical appliance behind you.