Talk:Jigoku Games: The Disgraced and Corrupt Being vs. The Angel/@comment-26595384-20170415011336

Alright this first round of fighting is over, and I must say I am a bit sad to see so little progress on the fight; as it only went through 3 cycles of users. First of all, before I get into commenting on each exchange, I would like to say that this RP was sprinkled with syntax, grammatical, and spelling errors. Though I know we are still all evolving as writers, taking those few extra seconds to check your paragraph for proper spelling, run on sentences, and just general comma placement will make your story read a lot smoother. Especially when it comes to multi-user stories, the placement of proper nouns is also really, really helpful to the reader! Because although you may know who's turn it is at the time, when all I was reading was "she" and "he" within a paragraph, I had no clue who was doing what. So it was a bit confusing of who was moving where, and what spells were being cast (especially without spell names written down), so just something to keep in mind in the future when you are writing a match for a judge.

Now with the magical exchanges, starting with the first round of four user's posts. The basic dragon roar seemed orthodox, although I felt it's power scale was not nearly explained well enough on the page to warrant the reaction that James posted it as. That being said, if you go to looking at the character's page and their spell descriptions, the strength of the hurricane roar listed on there would suffice to send Sakura and James backwards. Though when you compare that to the abilities of Vara tel' Seldarine (the defensive barrier spell used by James, though not apparent in the RP), it does say that the barrier takes half that power and heals those within it. So I would say that it was a wash in terms of attack-defense.

But this is only after I read through your respective character pages...As an honest judge, I would only judge what is on the page of this RP; fact checking if necessary with the information on your character's page. That is why the devil is in the details here. If you want an attack to be devastating, describe it as so. Don't just call it "powerful", as that leaves it open to interpretation on the receiving end, making it more easily dodged or blocked. This entire RP I had to repeatedly check back to character's spells to see what they heck they were and how their effects worked, because very few times I was clued in on what the outcome of said attack would be. Again, just something to keep in mind for future RPs, as your opponent may not check your spell's original description and completely disregard an effect just because you didn't have it written down in the story.

The second part of the first exchange came from Amaryllis attacking her own partner with a corrosive spell that had no backbone as to how it was done. Was the spell in her sweat? Was it like a jelly she shot out? What the heck was it?? Because there is no description as to what the magic really is and how it works, it makes it extremely hard to fight against, but leaves it open to basically any defense working to stop it. So I will let Feng's defense work, especially given that the attack was done before the fight switched back to a 2-v-2. There was also no direction of movement from Amaryllis, so I don't know how she got to striking above Sakura's head, considering Sakura and James had been blown across the arena just prior to that. But making a ball of chains would require some time to gather, so I would say that the blade may have just nicked her if anything; but that was countered due to her Angel of Fire resistance. So I give that exchange a wash as well, although Sakura and James showed far greater teamwork and combinations with their spells when compared to Feng and Amaryllis, giving them the win in this first exchange in my book.

The second and third exchange seemed to follow a similar "blow for blow" type style, although I will say that the two wind wolves that were sent towards Sakura and James weren't addressed...but considering that Amaryllis followed up quickly with a widespread attack like God's Bellow, she would have basically destroyed the dragon slayers wolves... again, not really using teamwork, and instead just throwing out attacks in hopes of landing them. The defense for the Bellow wasn't that suitable either, as I just read that Jame's jacket was his defense. Now I thought it was just a normal jacket, but after looking at his page (to find the spell he used as well), it was that of a magic infused barrier jacket. And I am assuming that Sakura used her flame immunity to resist damage, both means of defense serving as something that doesn't quite sit right with me and seems a little cheap. But apparently all parties allowed it, as a subsequent post followed to solidify the words posted before it.

The close combat that seemed to follow up was rather lack luster and didn't seem to lead to anything, as it had only just begun when the time limit was up. So I can't really make any speculations on what that did for the overall fight in terms of which way the scales tipped.

But as my final comments, I am going to have to give the win to Sakura and James. Their teamwork and spell combinations were more suitable as to what we are looking for in a Sentinel. They were able to play off of each other and kept a mindful eye of protecting one another, which is a stark contrast to the demanding Feng and hotheaded wildcard Amaryllis. Now I will say that is was a bit early to tell who would win strength wise, as what was posted down made it seem like a draw between both sides, but that was mainly due to the lack of detail from any party as to how their attacks were being executed and how powerful the repercussions would be if they landed. Aside from Sakura's chains underground, there wasn't much forward tactical thinking either; and you all seemed to just respond to what was in front of you and not try and think of what would happen next. So without this forward thinking apparent on the page, I couldn't really make an assessment based on the physicality of the fight, and made my assessment based off the teamwork. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please leave them below and I will address them. I apologize if some of what I said came off as a bit harsh, but my intentions was to provide constructive criticism. Because a majority of you are still new to RPs, I wanted to try and leave something that you could take away from this fight. If you would like a more detailed analysis of how you fought, I can always post my opinions on your talk pages, so let me know.