Talk:Parius Chitose/@comment-4666155-20130312232224

Alright, let's start. First, and foremost, in any introductory paragraph, the bolded name should be followed by the kanji/hiragana/katakana. In your case, it would most likely be ''パリウス ちとせ Pariusu Chitose. ''The images in the appearance section are best reserved for a gallery, their placement does not fit well on an article.

Magic Names, like introductory paragraph character names, require the kanji/hiragana/katakana. If  his Black Flame Magic is not Flame God Slayer magic, then I believe it would be best to just call it Fire Magic, and make a subset for the black flames he specializes in. The spells seem.."alright", but you need to shorten their distances. 90 feet? 50 feet? You're not here to wipe out half a city block.

I was initially opposed to this character's use of Death Magic, but Per, who is in charge of Magic, says it is permissible, and you do not seem to be abusing this magic, your spells, in fact, appear reasonable. Now...you call Parius a Swordsmanship Master, but looking at how it's written, it implies nothing but basic skill, if that. I don't even call my own Jason a Master, merely a "Specialist", and that's because his entire fighting style revolves around the sword. Your character doesn't have anything written to imply he would be a master as using the sword, and thus, I suggest adding more to that section. Slapping "Master" after the name of a skill is nothing if there isn't something to show for it. What is a "Blast Shield"? How is it relevant to Sword Magic? Otherwise, the this article, ability-wise", seems alright.