Talk:Grand Magic Games X806: Nirvana's Come To Steal The Show/@comment-26641784-20180124231420

Creativity (3/5): I thought the way you got through the challenges ahead of your team were certainly interesting and I haven't seen them done before when we've had similar challenges in the past. However, there were some challenges that, while how you overcame them was unique, they seemed fairly straightforward such as running through the spike trap.

Character Use (4/5): I enjoyed the dynamic between your characters during the brief periods of rest between challenges but there were so few times during those actual challenges where it seemed like they were working together aside from the last one. When reading it felt more like they were simply working for themselves but just happened to be doing so beside someone else. I bring up the spike trap again, how Ryder was supposed to be the leader and yet he was the first to cross and as a result, he didn't make sure his team got through safely.

Use of Scenarios (3/5): I thought combining the bird and plant challenge together was a bold but interesting move. I felt like it gave the island creatures a somewhat symbiotic feel to them as they worked together to trap your mages. However, your mages never really seemed to struggle with your challenges. Everything is overcome within seconds or rushed through with little caution. You also forgot to mention that the plants had a numbing effect that would have affected your team given that many of them touched the plants.

Overall Story (3/5): As I stated earlier I really liked the dynamic between your characters when they're just talking to each other. Your story did a really good job of setting up that team dynamic and as I read I felt like I was really getting to know your characters as people and who they were. This side of your story was great and made me want to cheer them on through the rest of it but unfortunately, the fact that they never really worked as a team for the majority of the challenges kinda broke that dynamic I felt in their downtime. It made it seem fake, like they were only friends when no one had to worry about the other.

I use Ryder as an example again during the spike trap. I was surprised when he went across first and just told his teammates to hurry up. Had each one been able to get across safely I would have shrugged this off but Kyon had to take a big risk and run across the spikes. Ryder, as team leader and friend, should have known that Kyon might struggle to get across and helped him. Aside from that, they seemed to breeze through all the other challenges with little to no struggle, every story needs a good struggle because if everyone can just push through everything in their path why should I cheer for them? I never have to worry about them because I know they can just breeze through whatever stands in their way. I know I criticized Kyon running through the spikes but at the same time, it was the first time I felt that one of them was in real danger and it made me care about him. He felt the most human out of the team and that made him my favorite character on your team by the end of the first day of this GMG. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing more of your team later on.

Total Score: 13