User blog:Perchan/Happy Fourth of July

For 4th of July, the most American thing I can think of is the Space Marine from Doom storming Berlin in 1945 alongside General George Patton, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Duke Nukem and Teddy Roosevelt killing all the entrenched Nazis defending Berlin in a huge bloody mess, storming Hitler's castle, killing Death and Satan, beating the shit out of Hitler, going BACK INTO HELL, finding out that Hitler morphed with the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, and getting his ass kicked and the final blow being struck by Washington and Lincoln shoving the bottom end of a flagpole with the American flag on top, and clearing out hell in Abrams Tanks, DRIVING OUT OF HELL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUPER BOWL, CATCHING THE BALL FOR THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN, riding into the sunset on giant Eagles while eating bacon, and all to the soundtrack of Creedence Clearwater Revival.

I can imagine them emerging from the depths of hell during the Superbowl with Abraham Lincoln on top of the tank and this playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EfhAFA2yFE

And Jack Bauer waterboarding the shit out of Kim Jong Un while America Fuck Yeah plays in the background.

SO AMERICAN.

Happy 4th of July guise.